Posted by: Ken Wheatley | September 6, 2009

Holding steady

Sheila’s still not able to reliably drive on her own – mainly due to sudden barfing attacks and drowsiness – so various family and friends took turns staying with her all week when I went to work.

Even though she’s getting sick less times per day than she was two weeks ago, she’s still not holding her food down enough to counteract the weight loss. I weighed her again this morning, and she’s still at 110. Things that she was able to eat or drink one or two days is then rejected the next. And we just never know when it’s going to strike.

She was able to get some beach time with Jean and Nancy on Friday, so that really lifted her spirits. She loves being near or in the water.

Sheila mentioned how grateful and enjoyable it’s been for her to spend so much quality with her family and friends. Thanks to Mo, Karen, Kathy, Jean, Nancy and those who prefer to remain anonymous for sharing the load last week. It was a big help to both of us.

Sheila’s birthday’s coming up next week (9/11), and we’re going to be staying at a cottage on the beach for 4 days. That was her only wish, and she’s very excited that one is available. It’s nice to see her face light up when she talks about it. I’m looking forward to it as well.

The only “negative” is that we will have to leave for part of a day for her to get chemo. So, much like what happened when we went to Santa Barbara, our getaways seem to manage to be interrupted with trips to a hospital. But it’s for a good reason, and I’m ecstatic that she’s made it to another birthday.

As for my situation, my urologist was able to see us earlier this week rather than wait until next week.

He spent about an hour going over the biopsy results, and with half the prostate being cancerous he basically feels I have about three or four months to address the problem before it spreads outside the prostate. It could be longer, but he doesn’t think so based on the speed with which my PSA kept increasing.

So I have consultation appointments with two surgeons over the next two weeks. They specialize in doing the robotic surgery which should cut my recovery in half. The wild card is that there are few robots in San Diego so the waiting list could itself be three months or longer, so it’ll be interesting to see what comes of these meetings.

With Sheila showing (slow) signs of improvement, and with robotic surgery cutting the recovery time in half, we felt that we should at least attempt to take advantage of this window of opportunity. A lot can happen of course over the next three or four months, so we’ll see how it all plays out.

In the surprise category, my stepson, Justin, called yesterday. The last time I saw him was when his daughter was born three years ago, and I went to visit them in South Carolina. So he and his new girlfriend, Tiffany, stopped by today for a long visit and also to tell me that he’s decided to move back to San Diego – within the next two months! That was an even bigger surprise.

It was great seeing him. And we laughed, a lot, about how much he now appreciates all the things we did together when he was a kid – including the 2000 mile car trip from hell that he, Tammy, and Diane loathed back then, but rave about now. And about the time I “accidentally” shot him in the back when we went paint balling in Escondido. So it’ll be good/interesting to have him back in the area.



  1. Thanks ken for the
    Update it means so much to all of us who love you and don’t want to keep

  2. Hi Ken,

    Don’t know if you received my last message.
    I had lunch with Gaynell of couple of days ago. I asked her how you and your wife were doing.
    She stated that your wife was not doing well and that she is a strong individual.

    So, she passed your website on to me, and i read that you were told some bad news about your health.
    All i could say was WOW! How much more can an individual take!

    You definitely have the strength of steel with your decision to forgo your surgery to be with your lovely wife.
    I know it was a tough decision, but the love that you have for your wife will carry you through.

    May the heavens above stay with you, and give you strength through your difficult journey..


  3. Hi C, Yes, I got the message(s). Thanks for writing. I’m a bit behind on responding to comments and emails. So after Sheila and I received a couple of phone calls about the absence of posts, I thought I should get something on the blog last night. We appreciate your sentiment and comments. It’s a tough road, but emails like yours helps a lot. Hope all is well with you. You’ll have to let me know how the job hunt is going. Take care,K

  4. So glad for the update… And that Sheila is improving, albiet slowly. And excited that you and she will be able to get away to relax and enjoy each other at the cottage. Obviously, you both need a break. And I’m absolutely thrilled that you’re investigating options for your health as well. Given the timelines in our health care systems, Sheila’s continuing improvement may very well coincide with opportunities for you to take care of you. God provides, Ken… I pray for you both all the time. Take care…

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