Posted by: Ken Wheatley | June 24, 2010

2nd Wedding Anniversary

It’s been a tough, depressing week so far. I’m in a funk. Tuesday (the 22nd) would have been our second wedding anniversary. We never talked about not making this one. Or the next 40.

I thought about cancelling all my appointments and just staying home but fortunately some reserve of wisdom prevailed, and I went to work and occupied/distracted myself. Sitting home would not have been healthy.

Anyway, I thought of where we were 2 years ago at 4pm and focused on what a beautiful day and bride she was. I recently got the wedding album and, like Sheila, it’s beautiful. And now I have something else tangible to hold onto and think of her.

I sold my Porsche a few days ago because it’s been parked in the garage for a  couple of months while I drive Sheila’s car everyday to work. Didn’t need it anymore anyway. When we bought it I had only planned on keeping it for two or three years anyway.

Sheila’s beamer’s got almost 105,000 miles on it, but I can’t part with it yet. While I’ve washed the outside many times, I haven’t touched the inside since Sheila drove it. So all of her stuff is still in the door, the cup holders, glove box, center console, trunk, etc. I just work around it. I like putting my hands on the steering wheel where her hands were…and the gear shift…and the radio button…and the airconditioning controls. Or opening up the center console box and seeing her ear rings, or make-up.

She left these sour candies in the door. Never knew she ate them. So every now and then I’ll pop one in my mouth like she would have. There are “For Sharing” and “Not for sharing” tabs on the container, and there’s no question she would have offered a passenger the first tab.

I remember many times driving next to her on the way to work before we’d peel-off to our respective destinations. I visualize her sitting in the driver’s seat looking over at me and smiling, or giving me her little hand wave. 

Happy Second Anniversary, Sheila. I love you…

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Responses

  1. Death is always hard, but don’t let the grief destroy you. You have to keep moving and going. Some how you have to find a way to continue your life.

  2. Thanks B. The grief isn’t destroying me as much as it did the early months, but the lingering void is unavoidable. I loved Sheila very intensely. But I have picked myself up off the couch and have embarked on a different life.

  3. your wedding is one i will NEVER forget……….how happy that day was……….how beautiful sheila was.how handsome you were………..i remember holding my breath. i love you sheila……..kathi and i are together right now and we think of you every where we go………………amen, m.


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